Newness of Life

I think I need to be needed
I enjoy being necessary
I like being depended on.
Take all this away
And I am nothing
An un-needed person
Who has lost all reason to live.

I have tried very hard
To become a ‘being’ person
To rest and receive
But, in fact, now realise
I am a ‘doing ‘ person
And my doing gives meaning
Meaning and purpose to my life.

I determine to search till I find
Seek out something, anything
To keep myself occupied
Inspiring me to newness
Newness of life.

Ruth Jessup

The Void

I may conquer the world
Yet not have fulfilment.

Be brilliantly successful
Without sense of achievement.

Possess all I desire
Yet have no contentment.

Why? Why? Why?

Because a void remains
A void that still needs filling.

What can I do
To have complete satisfaction?

I try to grasp outside myself
Seeking for something bigger and better.

I steadily climb up and up
But find nothing when I reach the top.

I diligently seek for something
To fill the void within.

Where can I find it?
What is it? Who is it?

Ruth Jessup

A Stone Cries Out

I hold in my hand
A heavy flint stone
Encased in hardened chalk.
I found it today on my walk.
It caught my attention
By its rounded top side.
It was partially hidden,
For fallen oak leaves
Gold, brown and crisp
Crunching under my feet
Protectingly covered it
Along with ghost sleepers.

I wonder how many underbellies
Of great metal monsters
Thundering over it
This stone has experienced
For a full century?

I prod the stone with my boot
It is well bedded in.
I feel impelled to persist.
It loosens.
I pick it up.
Its underside is black
It hasn’t seen daylight
Sine 1865!
How do I know this?
Because the first locomotive
From Guildford to Shoreham
Passed over it
Along the single raised track
Just before slowing
To enter Rudgwick Station
For the first time
In November that year

Sadly the line closed
One hundred years
After its opening
Beeching-axed
The whole then abandoned
Left to rot
Till 1984.
The tranquil tree-lined
Downs Link path
Through which I am strolling
Opened thirty -five years on.

I carry my stone home
Wash it with care
Consideringly stroke
My new find.
If only it could speak to me.
Yet by its silence
It allows my imagining
To freely roam
Way back to the past
Of smoke and steam
Evoking strong memories
Of sight and smell
The childhood excitement
Of days long ago.

I shall cherish my stone
It jogs my mind
To remember the past
Yet forcibly reminds me
That I live in the present.
I must enjoy each day
My ‘now’ walks
In order to form fresh memories
In the realisation
That long after I am gone
My stone will be found
By someone else
Continue to speak
In the future
Silently.

Ruth Jessup

Autumn Leaf

A small leaf trembles on its branch
Fearful of letting go
But once it decides to surrender
It gently floats below.

The leaf fixed in its comfort zone
Didn’t want to change at all
Yet it was no longer doing any good
Until it accepted the fall.

Once it had accepted to change
Lying prostrate on the earth
It then replenished the hungry soil
Giving beautiful flowers new birth.

Ruth Jessup

The Unexpected

When things don’t work out as I expect
Feelings of annoyance and regret
Can quickly turn into resentment
So I need to accept each situation
With a feeling of contentment
Aware that God is in control
Of every circumstance.

I accepted the changes from God today
And found Him all along the way.

Ruth Jessup