My Struggle

When grief blinds me to my blessings
Please God open my eyes to see
All that I have surrounding me.
So many who love me dearly and care
Who want to share in this battle I’m facing
Help me to overcome and win
This desperate struggle I find myself in
To bring me out of this valley of shadow
Into the sunshine of a bright tomorrow
Leaving behind the dismal, sorrowing days
For an abundant life overflowing with praise.

Today I thank God who has given me
Such wonderful friends and family
I pray they may be blessed abundantly
For all their loving kindness to me
Restoring my faith in God through humanity
Removing scales from my eyes to let me see.

Ruth Jessup

The Strand of Love

I have only recently come to realise
Not only did I lose my husband when he died
But I lost the person I could follow
And who I am today is only a shadow
Of what I was as a wife.

My chest thickens
My eyes fill
My voice chokes on his name
Death is so final
Really horrible
What devastation it brings.

In truth I did not lose my husband
Lost persons can sometimes be found
I cannot find him
He died
Gone forever
I am the one who’s bereft
Lost without him.

Love is a fragile, strong strand
That passes through death’s doorway
And that  love strand reaches me today
Supports me as I continue my way
Because he only took with him
What he had so freely given away
His love.

Ruth Jessup

Waiting

I’m on my own and waiting
Waiting for a tearless day
It’s only just a few weeks
Since you quietly went away.

A year on I’m still waiting
Waiting for my heart to mend
Hoping soon my smile will be genuine
That I’ll no longer have to pretend.

Two years on the waiting
Is gradually causing less pain
And I am at last accepting
That on earth I’ll not see you again.

Now I look forward with expectant hope
To the day when I will come
To join you in the heavenly home
Where once again we will be one.
All my waiting over and done.

Ruth Jessup

Grief

I pull my tears inwards
Not wanting others to see my pain
I keep silent
But silence is exhausting me.
I long for seclusion
So I can let out my sobs.
I hug my misery close
Not wanting outsiders to intrude
Into the intimacy of my grief.
By keeping others at arms’ length
I protect my vulnerability.
I feel so very fragile
So lonely. So unloved.
This alien feeling
Is seated profoundly within.
Every now and then
Triggered by a small significance
It rises to the surface
Overflows in tears unshed
For my anguish and dejection
I hug tightly to myself.

Ruth Jessup

Soul Expressions

Intense moments of great happiness
Days of profound grief
Gentle moments of deep reflection.
Finding beauty in the mundane
Pleasure in the ordinary
Ecstasy in love. Hope for the future
God in nature. Heavenly thoughts.
Happenings that fill my heart
Till it overflows words.
They call it poetry
I call it, ‘Soul Expressions’
As they come from deep within my spirit
I simply open my hands
My heart overflows.

Ruth Jessup

Grief

There’s a beauty in our sadness
That surpasses human thought
A meaning in our brokenness
By which we may be brought
Back into the relationship
Which for long the Lord has sought.
So we’ll look beyond our present grief
Knowing God is in control
And trust in him for miracles
He has promised to make us whole.
All we have to do is have faith & believe
Simply all his gracious love receive.

Ruth Jessup

Hope

Tears that have been suppressed for so long
Overflowed this evening
Kept overflowing.
Grieving is so very painful
Will it ever stop?
I think not.
Will happiness ever return?
I hope so.
Indeed it is hope that keeps me going
From day to day
Hoping.
Without hope life is not worth living
So I continue to hope.

Ruth Jessup

A Locked Door

Are you hiding?
Locked in by fear and grief
Desperately trying to understand
Seeking some relief
Battling with feelings
Of utter devastation
Nothing’s making sense
Your heart is broken.

Jesus comes through tight-locked doors
Offers His peace and much, much more
He has suffered so understands your pain
He offers comfort until you regain
Your joy in life, new hope for each day
To continue on the heavenward way.

John 20:19&20

Kevin Jessup

Grief & Tears

Grief is the normal by-product of love
The more I love the more deeply I grieve
The bind that held us both together
Has snapped.
I find it hard to believe
That I’ll never see you again.

I am trying so hard to escape the pain
To continue with life as if nothing has happened
But little things trigger again and again
Visions and thoughts and memories of you
When you were here with me.

Ruth Jessup

Grief Thoughts

After you died
I cried and cried
Now I feel
Nothing is real
I miss you so much
Your loving touch
My life’s ripped apart
How can I restart?
I’ve a lovely home
But I’m all alone
What can I do?
All I want is you
Every day
The skies are grey
Can I carry on
Now you are gone?
I need relief
From all this grief.

Ruth Jessup