Grief

I pull my tears inwards
Not wanting others to see my pain
I keep silent
But silence is exhausting me.
I long for seclusion
So I can let out my sobs.
I hug my misery close
Not wanting outsiders to intrude
Into the intimacy of my grief.
By keeping others at arms’ length
I protect my vulnerability.
I feel so very fragile
So lonely. So unloved.
This alien feeling
Is seated profoundly within.
Every now and then
Triggered by a small significance
It rises to the surface
Overflows in tears unshed
For my anguish and dejection
I hug tightly to myself.

Ruth Jessup